I thought I was safe, watching the destruction in the distance. In the ship, with my mentor, my boss, my friend. I saw people in danger, people suffering, people dieing, being tossed around by the great white fish. Although I hurt for them, I didn't want to be them, I wanted to keep a safe distance and a safe distance I did keep.
Calamity crept up. It swam by my side and hissed and threatened. I was afraid, and wrongly comforted by the feel of wood planks under my feet in our sturdy ship where we were dry and unmolested by the terrible monster. Until the whale, thirsty for more revenge, turned his attention to us.
Our ship was overtaken, devastation overwhelmed and destroyed it. We were sinking fast. I fought against the crushing water, tried to break away and swim to safety by clasping onto something buoyant, promising shelter and rescue. But I was stuck. Ropes twisted and clenched it's fist and would not relent its grasp on my leg. I looked out and saw my mentor, my friend, and he saw me with a look of terror in my eyes. A barrel surfaced behind him and invited him to take hold and save himself. But my friend dismissed its invitation, and instead clamored his way up to where I was imprisoned, and undeniably doomed. He never averted his face from mine. He spoke sweetly and passionately of how brave I am. He promised to go down with me, to my watery grave. And go with me he did, soothing me with his words, with his presence, as we slowly made our descend to eternity.
I was contemplating what it meant when God promises he will never leave or forsake us. I am still in this messy trial, He isn't sparing me from pain. To be honest, knowing He is with me wasn't providing the comfort I am longing for because I want the victory. So what does God's presence in my trial really mean and what does it look like?
That's when I saw the end of the Moby Dick mini series (with William Hurt and Ethan Hawke) which showed the above described scene (with my elaborations). As I watched this moving interaction between StarLocke and the cabin boy, I sensed God whisper, that's what my presence looks like. And I kid you not, as I sat in my room, pondering what to write in this blog entry a few days later, still soaking in this profound truth about His presence during trials, I happenned to turn on the TV and the same very scene was showing. Wow, what a confirmation.
Now, to be clear. I don't plan on drowning anytime soon. This scene is an illustration, not a prophecy! An equal truth is that I am being trained in my trial to learn what it is to have audacious faith. More word on that (and hey, maybe another TV show to illustrate, that's always fun) what audacious faith means and what it looks like.
This is beautiful and knowing personally the inner turmoil and junk you guys are facing down makes this pretty powerful for me. Thanks for sharing. - Todd Slocum
Posted by: Todd Slocum | October 25, 2011 at 02:47 PM